


Contain Your Excitement For Inevitable Death, Please

by orphan_account



Series: olympusstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternia, Black Romance, M/M, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, Red Romance, SBURB Fan Session, SGRUB, Trollian, i can make anything a pjo au just you fuckin watch me buddy, its not a crossover lmao, olympusstuck, thats the working title im, this is literal trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is NICO DI ANGELO and you are PISSED AT LEO VALDEZ.</p><p>Why? The absolute idiot can't seem to take one fucking moment to THINK ABOUT HIS ACTIONS, and this trait of his is going to result in WIDESPREAD DEATH. </p><p>The fucker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contain Your Excitement For Inevitable Death, Please

**Author's Note:**

> i hate this so much i hate myself for doing this i dont know why im like this i 
> 
> i'm sorry

CURRENT illusoryAbbadon [CIA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK LEO VALDEZ. 

CIA: +(o hello  
CIA: +(o now would be a great time for all of you to actually respond to me for once in a lifetime  
CIA: +(o not going to point any prong stubs but  
CIA: +(o im definitely pointing some fucking prong stubs  
CIA: +(o leo and hazel, especially  
CIA: +(o shape your shit up and respond to this memo  
CIA: +(o it would be greatly fuckin appreciated  
CIA: +(o if any of you guys are lurking i would really appreciate your input  
CIA: +(o someone say something dammit  
CIA: +(o im serious  
FUTURE vengefulAperture [FVA] 5:12 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FVA: yøu’ve c4ught me, i’m 4fr4id  
FVA: wh4t dø yøu w4nt  
CIA: +(o i want all of us to, metaphorically, gather round in a circle in which we simultaneously hold a mass masturbatory event of complaining about leo valdez  
CIA: +(o for getting us into this fucking mess  
CIA: +(o without a plausible way out  
CIA: +(o because he had to go messing around and downloading potential viruses all willy-nilly  
CIA: +(o like a goddamn wiggler  
FVA: i 4m sensing søme r4ther strøng feelings  
CIA: +(o oh gee golly ethan are you really  
CIA: +(o i wouldnt have guessed  
FVA: s4rc4sm i presume  
FVA: i believe the l4st thing we shøuld dø is høld 4 erøgenøus stimul4tiøn ørgy tø cømpl4in 4bøut leø v4ldez  
FVA: we shøuld inste4d føcus øn w4ys tø fix things  
FVA: besides yøu chøse tø pl4y his g4me in the first pl4ce  
CIA: +(o dont get high and mighty on me because youre from the fututre, ethan  
FVA: th4t w4s nøt my intentiøn  
CIA: +(o what is going on up there anyways?  
CIA: +(o what have we figured out  
FVA: essenti4lly… nøthing  
CIA: +(o fantastic  
FVA: but we 4re nøt giving up høpe  
FVA: perh4ps sømeøne f4rther intø the future h4s 4 clue øf what 4ctiøns tø t4ke?  
FVA: i 4m nøt extr4ørdin4rily f4r frøm yøur current time  
CIA: +(o i guess thats a half decent idea  
FVA: perh4ps i 4m nøt 4s br4inde4d 4s yøu m4y think  
CIA: +(o or maybe you are and im just braindead too  
FVA: pøssibly.  
PAST artisticOracle [PAO] 11 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PAO: al7ight what did i miss los37s B)  
CIA: +(o oh great  
CIA: +(o welcome to the club of the immensely fucked over by leo valdez  
CIA: +(o currently we have five members including you  
PAO: th373s only th733 of us though  
CIA: +(o i was including bianca and octavian  
PAO: oh  
PAO: w3ll  
PAO: fai7 point  
PAO: whats going on wh37e yall a73??  
CIA: +(o not much for me  
CIA: +(o ethan?  
FVA: nøthing here either.  
PAO: fantastic B-)  
CIA: +(o could you please refrain from using those horrible emoticons  
CIA: +(o you are almost as bad as will  
PAO: you think will's 3moticons a73 cut3, but not min3?  
CIA: +(o i didnt say that  
CIA: +(o wills are just as insufferable and annoying  
CIA: +(o i wonder if thats why you two are moirails  
CIA: +(o the annoying emoticons duo  
PAO: B-(  
FVA: i believe yøu h4ve hurt her feelings, nicø  
CIA: +(o for fucks sake  
PAO: ugh shut up di ang3lo!!  
PAO: your3 as bad as th3 oth37 di ang3lo  
PAO: h3y hav3 yall eve7 notic3d w3 had two di ang3los this whol3 tim3?  
FVA: yes..  
CIA: +(o yeah  
PAO: PAO: oh w3ll i gu3ss i was the only one su7p7is3d  
PAO: anyways…. ^_^  
CIA: +(o rachel one more emoticon and im banning you  
PAO: ugh fin3!!  
PAO: but anyways  
PAO: sp3aking of will  
PAO: i’m having som3 pal3mat3 issu3s wh373 im at 7ight now  
CIA: +(o are coming to me for moirail advice??  
CIA: +(o of all times  
CIA: +(o and all fucking people  
CIA: +(o me???  
CIA: +(o the guy whose moirail died untimely without his knowledge in a tragic and gruesome FLARPing accident??  
FVA: she cøuld be cøming to me, nicø  
FVA: yøu never knøw  
PAO: no, asshat  
PAO: and no to you, too, 3than, so77y  
FVA: nø prøblem  
PAO: i’m just giving you th3 low down of what’s b33n going on  
PAO: stop jumping to conclusions!!  
PAO: sh33sh  
PAO: gosh why a73 you so  
PAO: lik3 that  
CIA: +(o like what  
PAO: snoopy and jumping to conclusions!!   
PAO: you know what??  
PAO: b3cause of you th3 wo7d CIA will now b3 associat3d with people who snoop  
PAO: b3caus3 you a73 a major jumping-to-conclusions snoop di ang3lo!!  
CIA: +(o is it pronounce see-ya?   
CIA: +(o as in see you later?   
PAO: i m3an, i suppos3   
PAO: h3y wait  
CIA banned PAO from responding to memo.  
CIA: +(o now where were we ethan  
FVA: øh  
FVA: um  
FVA: w4iting før 4nøther persøn tø shøw  
CIA: oh  
CIA: +(o right  
FUTURE artisticOracle [FAO]504 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FAO: total dick mov3, nico  
FAO: banning past m3 lik3 that  
FVA: it w4s kind øf 4 dick møve, tø be f4ir, di 4ngelø  
CIA: +(o well i did give her fair warning   
CIA: +(o so fuck off nakamura  
CIA: +(o besides she was insulting me and getting us off a serious topic  
FAO: yadda yadda  
FAO: w3ll now i’m 73ady to b3 s37ious  
FAO: b3caus3 shit 73ally hit the b733z3 bl3nd37  
FUTURE amazonianWarrior [FAW] 21 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
CIA: +(o oh reyna thank fuck  
CIA: +(o help me shape up these fuckers  
FAW: Nico+, I am not here to+ simply act as your sidekick.  
FAW: Much less round up your horde +of glorified beefgrub.  
FAO: rud3 B-/  
FVA: quite.  
FAW: I am +only responding to+ this memo+ because I could not reach you elsewhere.  
FAW: We really need to+ talk about stuff, Nico+.  
CIA banned FAW from responding to memo.  
CIA: +(o we can talk about things in a bit reyna  
CIA: +(o or… rather in far-but-near future, i guess?  
CIA: +(o whatever  
CIA: +(o right now i have a group of people to keep from dying  
CURRENT ultimateMcshizzle [CUM]  responded to memo RIGHT NOW.  
CUM: guys  
CUM: um  
CIA: +(o well well well  
CIA: +(o its mister game designer supreme  
FVA: hellø leø  
FAO: what’s up buddy  
CUM: i’m going to die of the passive agressiveness gfc  
CUM: aggressiveness**  
CIA: +(o yeah well you deserve the passive aggressiveness.  
CUM: well maybe i do but good friends are supposed to show it!!  
FVA: i 4m nøt yøur friend  
CUM: you aren’t friends with anyone nakamura  
CUM: but rachel  
CUM: i thought we were tight  
CUM: tighter than octavian’s snobby chargin tunnel  
CUM: tighter than some seriously rad slam poetry  
CUM: tighter than some sick falldown slat tricks  
CUM: and now you’re coming her  
CUM: here**  
CUM: and you’re turning your back on me  
CUM: astounding  
FAO: oh piss off vald3z  
FAO: you know that you compl3t3ly ditch3d m3 and octavian wh3n you b7ok3 up with bianca  
FAO: so don’t com3 in h373 acting all innoc3nt and fo7gott3n, CUM  
CUM: you say my trollian initials like it’s something to be ashamed of bro  
CUM: newsflash: it isn’t  
CUM: i’m cum  
CUM: big fucking deal  
CUM: cum here cum there cum everywehre  
CUM: everywhere**  
CIA: +(o leo can you shut up about nonsensical three-letter insults  
CUM: yeah sorry  
FVA: i think it wøuld be in 4ll øf øur best interests tø get intø cøntact with 4ll øf the friends yøu søught øut tø pl4y the g4me  
CUM: sounds dandy to me  
CUM: game called for twelve players  
CUM: give or take  
CUM: so i got will and rachel  
CUM: then myself obviosly  
CUM: obviously**  
CUM: calypso and octavian  
CUM: and that makes up the first team  
CUM: which im the badass leader of  
CUM: of fucking course  
CUM: i’m calling it team ignis  
FAO: aft37 you7 7ol3play charact37?  
FAO: lam3!!! B-P  
FAO: also…  
FAO: octavian?  
FAO: h3 ag733d?  
CUM: rachel shut it im talking  
CUM: frank and bianca  
FVA: bi4nc4 accepted yøur invite?  
CUM: oh my god shut up guys  
CIA: +(o for once, i agree with valdez  
CUM: the other team consists of them right  
CUM: luke and ethan  
CUM: then reyna and hazel  
CIA: +(o hazel agreed??  
CUM: well she told me to stop or i would seriously fuck shit up  
CUM: but i didn’t listen and so she joined to try to stop me  
CUM: but well  
CUM: you see how that wet  
CUM: went**  
CIA: +(o you dumbass!!  
CIA: +(o why didn’t you listen?  
CUM: well sorry my fucking bad for not knowing this was actually going to get messier than a fishnet filial pail  
FVA: we shøuld nøt be fighting in this dire of 4 situ4tiøn  
FAO: tak3 3than’s advice, guys  
FAO: i’m an all-s33ing futu73 b3ing! B-)  
FAO: so you should 73ally b3 list3ning to us  
CIA: +(o fine  
CIA: +(o then say something important, maybe??  
PAST teddyCenturion [PTC] 21:04 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PTC: }-{ alright, w}{at in t}{e fres}{water }{ell is going on? }-{  
FVA: hellø, se4dweller  
FVA: i dø nøt believe we h4ve previøusly held 4 lengthy convers4tiøn  
FVA: it is nice tø meet yøu  
PTC: }-{ uh }-{  
PTC: }-{you too i guess, escolar }-{  
FAO: his nam3 is nakamu7a  
PTC: }-{ yea}{ i know it was a }-{  
PTC: }-{ you know w}{at forget it }-{  
PTC: }-{ i dont need to explain my puns to you }-{  
CIA: +(o i am not in a very good mood octavian and i do not really want a lot of puns in my fucking memo  
PTC: }-{ well cod you don’t }{ave to be so crabby }-{  
CIA: +(o i will kick your  
CUM: oh great  
CUM: welcome to the cool club fishdick  
CUM: we’re all lowbloods so go right ahead and shame us for our blood colors oh mighty one  
CUM: i’m on my hands and knees for you right now octavian i swear  
PTC: }-{ i do not need your fucking sarcasm rig}{t now, leo valdez. i am }{ere because nico di angelo invited me, and }{e is by far a muc}{ more }{onorable lowblood t}{an you could ever fucking be }-{  
CUM: damnnnnnn meowbeast’s got claws!!  
CUM: guess i should say fishie’s got venomous toxins to ward off predators?  
PTC: }-{ i swear on everyfin good and }{oly, leo valdez, i will stimulate you }-{  
CUM: what the fuck  
FAO: B-?  
FVA: øh  
PTC: }-{ eliminate******** }-{  
CUM: you sure about that (;  
CIA: +(o we don’t have time for your weird flirting and angsty old friendship sob stories  
FAO: i am in ag7eem3nt with nico!!  
FAO: i do not want to witn3ss fli7ting of any quad7ant l3aning right now!!  
FVA: spe4king øf such, dø we knøw wh4t qu4dr4nt they 4re flirting in  
FVA: i truly c4nnøt tell  
CUM: we aren’t flirting  
PTC: }-{ we are sardinely not flirting!! }-{  
CUM: and we haven’t told any sob stories!!  
CUM: yet.  
CIA: +(o i swear caesar if you tell one more fish pun i am kicking you  
CIA: +(o theyre fucking terrible and really forced i throw up a little in my mouth whenever i hear one and i am one step away from throttling you  
FAO: th3y a73n’t that bad...  
CUM: throttle him?  
CUM: i thought you didn’t do ashen, nico  
CIA: +(o shut the fuck up leo  
PTC: }-{ t}{ank you, nico. i’m really glad t}{ere’s a guy like you to level wit}{ me on t}{e vision t}{at leo is an annoying fucking vapid douc}{ewaffle son of a gun }-{  
CIA: +(o you shut the fuck up too, caesar.  
CUM: who’s the vapid douchewaffle son of a fucking gun now huh octavian  
PTC: }-{ someone kick }{im }-{  
FVA: th4t wøuld ønly m4ke møre prøblems øn øur end, se4dweller  
CIA: +(o while i would love to, octavian, we kind of need him  
CIA: +(o he started this shitshow in the first place  
PTC: }-{ w}{at s}{it s}{ow? }-{  
CIA: +(o you’ll see.  
CIA: +(o now fuck off, octavian, leo is more important than you and you’re making him upset or whatever  
CIA: +(o hurting his sensitive feelings  
PTC: }-{ don’t you ever call leo more important t}{an me ever again, di angelo }-{  
CUM: did it hurt your feelings, flutter fins?  
CIA: +(o I don’t have time for this.  
CIA banned PTC from responding to memo.  
CUM: suck it fish fucker  
FVA: v4ldez yøur inc4p4bility tø t4ke things seriøusly is becøming 4 seriøus str4in øn the prøductivity øf this memø  
FAO: gonna hav3 to ag733 with nakamu7a, y3t again  
CIA: +(o thirded. leo, you have to actually tell us some things that could possibly help  
CUM: alright alright  
CUM: i’m guessing something’s interfering with our session  
CUM: but honestly at this point your guess is as good as mine  
CUM: ours should be isolated   
CUM: i mean i sincerely doubt there’s any other people playing this game.  
CUM: i patched it up myself, so it should be a game exclusive to us  
CUM: someone else could have picked it up and coded it their way, but it still wouldn’t be able to infiltrate our session  
CUM: at least i’m pretty sure that couldn’t happen  
CUM: i am not the best hacker in the books guys  
FVA: this h4d nøthing tø dø with h4cking  
CUM: hey let me call it what i want to nakamura  
CUM: makes it seem cooler  
FAO: just continu3  
FAO: any gu3ss3s that might hold some wat37? B-?  
CUM: not really  
CUM: unless someone happened to find the game  
CUM: and happened to patch up the game exactly like i did  
CUM: and i’m not sure that’s very likely  
CUM: i mean theres always the possibly someone purposefully tried to hack our session  
CUM: but i don’t know why they’d want to do that  
CIA: +(o so basically  
CIA: +(o we’re fucked and clueless  
CIA: +(o could seriously die  
CIA: +(o and generally have no idea what to do  
FVA: th4t is my understanding øf wh4t we h4ve been tøld  
FVA: 4nd it søunds f4irly 4ccur4te  
FAO: sounds about 7ight  
CUM: yeah that pretty much sums it up  
CIA: +(o fantastic  
CIA: +(o can we find out who has infiltrated our session?  
CUM: i can try  
CIA: +(o then i guess thats all we can do

CIA closed memo.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry im like this
> 
> also i dont know how sgrub works


End file.
